Me Against The Music:
STOP PRESS! Atomic Kitten have just split up. Who really cares though? Honestly? Let's face it, they were really rubbish. There's loads more coming along to keep stupid fat kids from Kirkby dancing around in velvet tracksuits.
Has the influx of Coldplay/Travis rip-off's stopped coming through yet? Don't count on it.
Question: What do the following bands/artists have in common with each other?
Blink 182, JJ72, Matchbox 20, Ben Folds 5, 5ive, S Club 7, 311,
Triple 8, D12, 911, A1, 36 Crazyfists,
5.6.7.8's, 2 Unlimited, 112, Eve 6, Catch 22, Fifteen, 504 Boyz,
10,000 Maniacs, 50 Cent, U2, SUM 41, UB40, 666, 1 Giant Leap,
12 Stones, 1208, 2 Live Crew,
2 Skinnee J's, 2gether, 3 Doors Down, 30 Seconds To Mars, 3LW, 3rd Storee,
3rd Strike, 40 Below Summer,
4th Avenue Jones, 702, 8STOPS7, 98 Degrees
Answer: That's right, they're all completely shit.
Yeah, so it's a tired old "I hate pop music" article. Been done time and time again, right?
Here's a fact that will irk music enthusiasts (those annoying types who claim they love all music and eat Scampi and lemon Nik Naks): There are too many bands. Too many genre's. They all sound the same. Take Emo for example.
Emo, Screamo, Emocore, Post-emo indie rock, Hardcore emo, Post-emo post-hardcore (I'm not making these up and the list goes on) - how many different types of Emo can there be? What the fuck is Emo anyway? You know you've come across bullshit when the spell checker on FrontPage highlights almost the whole page since words like "Emo" don't exist. Apparently it's short for emotional. Ah, now it's all clear. Since emo came along, people can now be emotional in songs instead of...wait, what the fuck? Like nobody's ever been emotional in songs before Modest Mouse or Fugazi came along. What a complete pile of horseshit.
I've asked fans of this genre to explain what Emo is and they'll all answer differently or name some bands with stupid names that copy Weezer. What is wrong with the word "rock"? That's all it is, it's guitars, drums, vocals and bass. It's been called rock for years, why suddenly change it to "Emo" and pretend it's a new type of music never to be heard before? Ah. MTV. Some MTV fat cat must have decided it wasn't 21st century enough to call it rock anymore. Then realised dickheads with more piercings than braincells will pick up on the Emo revolution and spend a lot more money to look cooler. Anyone claiming to be alternative musically these days, seems to fall into the Emo category. There's no such thing you tools. If you like the sound, then fine, buy it. Don't just buy it because some dildo told you it's Emo.
Pop?
Time and time again I've head some random noises on the radio and said "What the fuck is this shit?" and have someone with me go "yeah, but have you seen the video? What relevance does that have to do with music. I hate music video's. From a music fan's point of view, what is the point? They along with MTV cause people to like what they see over what they hear. RnB is a prime example. Horrible soul-like wailing over an obnoxiously "blingy" bass line? "Who cares, Blu Cantrell has a nice expensive car!" and thus record sales for cunts like Sean Paul and 50 (Fiddy) Cent are up millions. People are stupid.
HALT! Listen to a real band with genuinely good lyrics: Half Man Half Biscuit.
Spontaneity?
My ambition in life is to befriend Andre Agassi and his wife, Steffi Graf. When I have accomplished this, I can go round to their house (where ideally they will have a tennis court) and drink beer with them until it's time for me to go either home or to bed. In the event of them wanting to go to bed early and have sex and also stating that they will play each other at tennis the following day based on a bet I'd place waging who is the better player. On leaving their house I will quip; "First cum, first serve" and my life will be complete. Until then, I will keep ranting away on this website. Go and read something else here.