The Matrix:
The worst film trilogy since Ernest Saves Ethiopia/Christmas/Up for a caravan. I don't even care if the Ernest films were a trilogy, the Matrix is just fucking shit. Terrible Keanu acting, the ugliest female love-interest possible, arse-faced Laurence Fishbourne (complete with arse acne scars) and the shittiest basic storyline ever - stretched out over three yawn inducing geek films. Pointlessly wank character names such as "Oracle" and "Neo" accompany mono-tone voices and stiff slow dialogue to chug this shit along. Only people who don't understand this film like it, yet attempt to feel superior by claiming the skeptics who shun this shit-fest don't know what's going on. It's a simple 3 minute idea clogged with expensive-yet-impressive special effects to give geeks an erection. Evidently, it works.
Click the characters for a brief dialogue of the story.
I made my own Matrix film. With Hollywood money injected, this would be a smash hit:
