The Fabulous Hall Of Science, with Steven Hawking.

Hello.  For those of you who are ignorant enough to not have a clue who I am, I am Professor Steven Hawking.  This is my superb Hall Of Science, funded by the National Lottery and Embassy Number 1 coupons I have saved up recently.

Over here we have my first invention.  It took many hours for me to complete.  As you can see below, I have successfully re-structured George Orwell and re-catagorised his brain patterns to come up with some amazing predictions. Ok, so it needs work and only predicts things from the year 2001, but it's a start.  I made this from paper-maché and the insides of a Sega Game Gear™. 

  Click the image to hear me talk about this piece.

Women:  Have you ever woken up only to find you're late for work and don't have time to do all those all-important early morning tasks such as brushing your teeth, having breakfast etc?  Or perhaps you hate doing these things and would rather get them all done in one and enjoy it too?  Well, look no further than Dildoclense™ - a revolutionary idea from the boys at Nasa and of course, my own innovative mind.  Beat time and frustration with the all new Dildoclense™.  Available in Woolworth's from December 24th.  Click the image for my thoughts on the invention.

Ever fancied traveling back in time?  Well now you can, just click THIS LINK.

I will have to love you and leave you now, I need to get help probing into the dark matter of my black hole. Click here to return to things less scientific.